Refusing to Give Away My Power

A message from Jane Gagliardo

It happened when I had to pick up my sneakers from a shop on Main Street in Stroudsburg.  The owner and I started talking.  She told me that she wasn’t going to have a booking signing, although she had promised to do so.  The pharmaceutical company that I took to court for the injustice done to me was once again impacting my life.

The owner was afraid–having a book signing would not be in her best interest. She had customers that work at the company and they would probably go somewhere else if they found out.  So, although I understand her position, it angered me to think that the company always, in some way or another, rears its ugly head and reminds me that it still has power over my life.

As the morning went on, I refused to give away my power.  I refused to allow the company to be the long arm of the law, if you will.  I took the company on and still I am intimidated when my guard is down.

I have learned to stand on my own. Although for the most part I feel strong in body and soul, I still have moments of weakness.  My therapist, Diana, calls this being human.  Not being the super human that I think I am and letting myself be vulnerable is okay.  I have to keep it in perspective.  I have learned in life to never let my guard down. This is how I learned to survive. I am strong to a fault.

I try to only give my MS 5 minutes of credit per day and then never think of it again. Yet I still allow this company to slap me in the face when I least expect it. So today I have decided today to go and have some fun, to live gratefully, and to stand up once again for myself.  The company is a thing. It does not have a heart or a mind. I remember that in my training to help abused women, the abuser can only take your power if you allow to give it up.

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